Fangyuzhe's Diner.

No, don't...

2006-09-15T02:46:35Z

If you fuck me, I'll be frightened.
If you do, I'll break.
Because I'm made of dry ceramic.
I'll hurt, and I'll hardly feel it at all.

Liek z0MG.

2006-08-30T02:50:14Z

I'm back. I feel better. Yes, despite whether I appeared to be doing well between then and now, now is when I feel better.

Current project: Sailor Starlights/Princess Kakyuu shadow box.

kiritsukeru @ 2006-05-23T23:33:00

2006-05-24T03:43:08Z

Going away, just work and work, and no people for a while. I'm in bad shape for now. Maybe I'll be better when I come back.

kiritsukeru @ 2006-05-08T19:48:00

2006-05-08T23:50:50Z

Hm... I've got a rat that needs a home, nowO.O. His name is Dalboz the Destroyer, and he's very soft, fluffy, big, and sweet. He comes with a cage and everythingO.O! He really needs a homeT_T!

kiritsukeru @ 2006-05-08T00:15:00

2006-05-08T04:30:37Z

I don't think I'm going to work tomorrow>.<. I just get so sick over this things. Something is -open- on the inside of me, and I just don't know who I can talk to and who is going to make it worse. Some of the people who tell me I need my friends around me are the ones making it open up and ooze blood. I know I'm sick when I can visualize my wounds without thinking about it. I see this red spot, like a sore. It reminds me of the spot on Jupiter, incidentally. Aside from that, I don't want to talk to people who tormented me in highschool. I didn't want to talk to Daniel Gatch. I knew Pirrip had to, whether he'd listen or not. And he didn't. He just insulted me and acted like I had caused every problem, including 'taking Philip away from him'.

Pirrip moved out of his house and into a coworker's in the same neighborhood. It makes it so much easier. I was able to go there and be away from all of the bad things... It felt like a respite. Like I could just sit there and have dinner, play uno, and watch Grey's Anatomy. I'm really tired, now, though, and I feel weak and fever from getting sick the way I did.

kiritsukeru @ 2006-04-25T19:59:00

2006-04-26T00:03:52Z

Yes... Holocaust Rememberance Day, today. Someone, somewhere, had a little sign that said 6 million remembered. I said "What about the other 4 million?" Got verbally attacked. I was called 'insensitive' because it's a "Jewish Holiday". Well, have fun on your Jewish holiday, I guess no one else is important. If I'm an anti-semite for thinking that that's just damn exclusive, then so be it.

kiritsukeru @ 2006-04-16T23:58:00

2006-04-17T04:28:34Z

I don't really feel like I -have- to open myself up more to people, anymore. People are going to make assumptions about me no matter what, and I'm just not comfortable sharing my thoughts with more extroverted people as I am with people who are recessive... But what's really wrong with that? I can relate better. I do get flustered, I do freeze up when talking to talking to some people... And I think they'd be surprised at how much I do talk... I've heard people say they feel left out, but it's nothing personal.

kiritsukeru @ 2006-04-05T01:40:00

2006-04-05T06:08:22Z

Delete entry>.<. Why does everyone have to call me at 8-9 this morning? Isn't it spring break? Some people sleep at that hour, right? It wasn't even the same couple of people. It was all different people! Oh my gods! Stephanie may have called me than once, but she's just annoying. Right now, she's the only one of my friends who annoys me. And calling when I'm trying to sleep and wake up at 10 doesn't help>.

kiritsukeru @ 2006-03-25T13:40:00

2006-03-25T18:38:37Z

Yay! I have a job, now^.^.

kiritsukeru @ 2006-03-20T23:18:00

2006-03-21T04:27:31Z

I can't even function now. The stress is causing weird little side effects, like my left eyelid having a constant twitch. I think I might have to kill the next homophobic, sexist little 13 year old girl I cross paths with. I don't even know how to begin. Of course, on the HM forums, this girl starts acting like a victim because I disagreed with her and said she was sexist. And she starts attacking me. Then she blocks me. I never got mad, never lost my temper, stayed calm. So at least I came out not looking like the 'bad guy', but big deal.
Right now, I'm not bothering cleaning or drawing anything. I just may offer myself over to an anyeurism or something. I'm going to explode>.

kiritsukeru @ 2006-03-17T00:16:00

2006-03-17T05:31:29Z

We had to take Garcia to the vet, yesterday. He was coughing more than usual, and he sounded rather bad... So he has bad bronchitis and an enlarged heart. I'm worried and Francie keeps saying not to worry. That doesn't make it any better. I didn't get stressed out, today, but I am worried. I did get to go to Cici's. It was tasty^.^. I think I'll have trouble sleeping this morning as well. I didn't think I'd have trouble sleeping, yesterday, but I did.

kiritsukeru @ 2006-03-16T04:16:00

2006-03-16T09:34:18Z

It's 4:16, and I don't have heartburn. Yay. I don't want to get it tomorrow, either, so I hope to have some 'me' time. 'Me' and 'The Sims 2' time, specifically. i'm kind of upset that things like that happen. I know it's not a big deal, but I got that expansion pack for the Sims 2 a week ago,and I just got to play it this morning. It's not the fact that I haven't, it's the reasons I haven't.

My MSN signs on by itself when I first tried to play yesterday afternoon. Swarms of IMs asking where I was, saying they needed to talk to me. Mainly Stephanie, there... James calls all the time, whining about how I never talk to him anymore and he -needs- to talk to me for help. Some kid from school I haven't even seen in months calls me and demands that I come to his birthday party this Saturday. I tell him I have a convention this Saturday, and he insists he's more important. I hardly know him, and he's drugridden>.<. They don't even bother asking, just demand. It's kind of tiring. I like to be around the people who ask and show appreciation. Not just have expectations of me to fix their problems. It calms my tummy.

I went to Pirrip's house the other night because his cousin was there. We had dinner, it was awful, but I did say thankyou. Yesterday, his father was complaining, said I should have at least said thankyou. I just felt sick. That kind of thing makes me think they just don't want to like me. Where are the thankyous for feeding their son? For giving him emergency rides to work? For lending their little daughter a good portion of my books? I don't mind doing those things. But I shouldn't expect respect from them. They don't even show it to him.

It's the little things that build up. I feel constantly on the verge of breaking down and screaming at everyone around me. heartburn during the day, and shaky, I feel like I'm not even capable of helping or showing caring nature even to the people who appreciate it. I don't like that, but I've just been lashing out when I don't even mean it. Because I know Pirrip will care about my feelings, I yell to him (not at him) about it. This is unlike me. I'm usually timid and afraid to yell or confront people. Even if they say something to make me really mad... Maybe that's why I'm snapping now.

I soaked in hot, hot water. I feel better now. I haven't been sleeping lately, but I think I could sleep now. Then I'll wake up and walk Mint.

On Mint's walk, yesterday, a lady thought he was cute. When he turned around, she asked, a little nervously, if his tail had gotten cut. i told her that Corgis were born without tailsO.o. Turns out, she has a basset hound and two dachsunds. Also long and short-legged.

kiritsukeru @ 2006-03-11T01:52:00

2006-03-11T06:59:30Z

If I could go anywhere right now, I'd go to Finland. I think Felix is coming over today. If he does, we'll take pictures. I'll take pictures if I go to Finland, as well. I'll be sure to bring Neko Bus. I wanted to go to sleep, but I only slept for about an hour. Conan went to Finland, and it fascinated me. I wanted some Wendy's really bad. I had a Frosty in the freezer, but not at all what I wanted.

I blame Jono for posting all of that Gravitation remix and megamix. Now I'm eternally echi.

Aa...

2006-03-09T08:16:29Z

Yesterday was a much better day than I have been having. I slept until three, but I needed it. It's a relief from having been staying up with what I believe is heartburn. Is it heartburn when your chest is tight and you feel like you're going to throw up at any second but you're not actually nauseous? It's all stress, anyway. I don't like to talk about that, but I should. But yesterday, I went to Doc Chey's for the first time. They had udon... Real udon! And the best lo mein I've ever tasted. I want to go back tomorrow, but I won't be able to until -next- Saturday. Unless, of course, I can convince Felix to go with me this Saturday. Oh... It's important, in a relationship, to be able to pick out a movie you both like. And so, we watched She Devil, and Pirrip discovered why I'm such a big fan of Roseanne Barr. What is it about gay guys and matronly malevolant divas? We almost got to watch 'Die Mommy Die!', but we had to walk Mint extensively^.^; That's okay. I'm not going to explode, anymore. I'm not going to start having a nervous breakdown and sobbing and screaming at the littlest thing -for now-. After feeling icky for a few days, I feel really hungry, now. It's my fault, though. I'ts all because I'm afraid to say things or get angry. For now, I'll just tell my NIlla Wafers about it.

T_T!

2006-03-04T09:59:43Z

I feel so bad, but I was so tired when I got home from the mall, I just went to sleep. I just feel like I've dissappointed some of my friends^.^;. But I needed to start sleeping at night if I'm going to start work soon. Then there's school in the fall, and I'd like to take language classes even before then. I also couldn't find anything to newly furnish the basement, so I'm going to have to go to the Morning Glory store in Buford. www.morningglory.com ! Our office is going to be authentically cutesie!

Speaking of cutesie, while at Discover Mills mall, I ran across a kiosk, and when I was looking at their little netsuke cellphone charms, the lady offered to make us some. So I have a really cute cloisonne bead one for my DS. I think I'll have to go back-she did Chinese knot tying arts, and had some awesome little bracelets done in that style. Another thing, she didn't mistake me for a girl. I find that less Asian people do. Besides, the younger guy that worked with her had a really ornate netsuke on his phone-there are a lot of westerners who just wouldn't do that. But traditional Asian culture is less confined to gender stereoptypes, and all guys can like knicknaks! Netsuke originated for men to wear on hakama pants in the first place, and now they're for everyone and their cellphones and handhelds^.^. I had a really nice conversation with the people working there, anyway.

I also felt a little bad about something Jenna said about prejudice towards straight guys. I can understand that, because when I say 'straight guys' with disgust, I should be more specific about who I'm talking about. It's a certain kind of guy that just acts like a prick when trying to be funny, and the kind of guy who's just loud and cusses all the time. The kind that just make fun of things to be cool and normal. So, I didn't get a chance to say before, because I'm not very good at talking, but I'm sorry for referring to it that way, because I really don't mean that.

I'm pretty picky about friends, and I don't like a lot of gay guys, either. The kind that perpetuate the stereotype that gay people are party animals, slutty, noncommital. or the kind that are just bitchy because they think their supposed to be. I'd say... most of my friends are pretty strange people, but that's only because they're not trying to be normal. And that's why I pick those people to be my friends, because they're unique and understanding. And while it's true that most of my friends are 'lgbt', it's not because I seek those people out. I really don't know if I'd even fit into the 'gay scene', anyway. Things like Youthpride? I'm afraid I'd be too much of a stuffed shirt. Stuff like clubs? I'd like to go and see how it is, but I'm a little scared of them being a little too sexually oriented for me, and I really don't like being in crowds. I'd rather just hang out in a place that's not explicitly 'gay or straight'.

I saw something that made me really sad yesterday, anyway. Some Evangelical Christians make these 'hell houses'. Haunted houses that scare you into being Christian. They act out these scenes where kids are gay, have an abortion, commit suicide, and do drugs, and it ends with them all dying a horrible death and going to hell. Now, I don't like the idea of suicide or drugs, but the way they portray homosexuality and abortion are just wrong. nobody died a bloody, bloody death in a modern abortion clinic, and it's wrong to portray that. What if one of the girls watching grows up, gets married, and has to have an abortion because the pregnancy is threatening her life? Then, the 'gay' guy said things like "My uncle did things to me! He told me I was born that way! And I believed him!" It was horrible! They had him die of AIDs as a teenager, and go to hell. They ended by saying that AIDS was a sinners' disease. But what about children born with it? At the end of the "Hell House", they have a room in which they tell you they're ready to pray with you and help you convert. It's so manipulative. 1 in 5 people who go through them convert or reconvert to Evangelicle Christianity. T_T!!! I've helped people convert or work their way through spirituality, but I'd never manipulate someone into it or even ask them to do it! I cried to see that. They sell kits to churches to make these kits, and the way the teenagers reacted to it was sickening. So excited to get the part of one of the kids that dies, so blindly enthusiastic to portray such hateful things...

Anyway, sorry for the long, long journal...

Woo!

2006-03-02T05:27:47Z

I'm so happy. I was actually able to draw something technical yesterday. I've gotten a new interest in the Sailor Moon series since showing 'S' to Pirrip. Then Finneus went and got me interested in the live action seriesO.o. So my weapon of the week is the Silence Glaive. Oo, pretty!

It's not perfect, but I've gotten better at drawing more technical things.

kiritsukeru @ 2006-02-21T22:22:00

2006-02-22T03:30:29Z

After you die...
Guardian Angel

After death, you will exist as a guardian angel in order to protect your still-living loved ones. You might even inspire a classic Christmas movie.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

No, too many people would want me to beT_T. Sait fucking Jude.

zOMG, an actual entry.

2006-02-04T10:15:50Z

I know I've updated with nothing more than quizes or pictures for the last while, but I'm bored right now, tired of knitting this scarf, and nowhere near sleepy, so I felt it was a good time to make an actual entry to anyone who's bothering to read.

We've taken in a new member of Ming Ink, still maintaining our status of being a GLBT supportive business. Except that for right now, only two of those letters have actually been fullfilled^.^;. But this brings us some exciting news. Ming Ink is finally getting a website. Our newest member isn't computer illiterate like Pirrip and I. How fabulousO.O.

Ming Ink is also expanding ee... productionO.O. It's no longer just commission drawings we do while we work on our ever secretive comic. I won't say anymore on that topic, you'll just have to see for yourselves on our new, sparkly website. Which will of course be pink.

I'm going to school, next semester. Which will mean I'm going to be busy and will not have time for peons. My only outings will involve accumulation of materials, school, and, of course, the occasional convention. Even at conventions, I don't typically do anything for fun, thoughO.O.

Aa, lastly, I made a lovely find^.^. At the antique shop yesterday, I found a Japanese plate depicting male geisha, which means it's quite old. It's so pretty^.^! Now, before you're all "Omg, wtf, geisha r grls!" Origianlly, all geisha were boys! Pretty boys. Prettier than girls, anyway.

Another quiz?

2006-02-03T07:08:13Z

1] What is your pen name?
Hono'o Masao.

2] How did you get the name?
I had it before I diedO.O.

3] Do you use PC or Mac?
PC.
4] What software you use most often?
None...

5] Do you use mouse, or tablet?
A pencil.

6] The color you use most often is?
Pink, I bet.

7] What area of the pictures do you put most effort into?
Anatomy, probably. And inking.

8] How long does it take you do draw a picture?
Sometimes minutes, sometimes days.

9] Do you keep your rough drafts?
Yes, in a file folder.

10] What kind of font do you use most often?
Times New Roman?

11] What's the dpi when you scan?
dpi?

12] Do you do anything else when you're drawing pictures?
Always. TV, sometimes the Sims as well. Sometimes just music.

13] How many pictures do you draw in a month?
At least 60. That doesn't mean you get to see all of them.

14] What kind of paper do you draw your pictures on?
Manga, sketchbook.

15] What kind of paper do you use for sketches and drafts?
Computer paper.

16] How long does it take to ink something?
Not long. Inking is fun for me^.^. It takes longer if I use only a maru pen. If I use technical pens instead of nibs and ink, it takes too long.
17] Do you do doujinshi or original manga?
Both. Doujinshi is good for practicing layout!

18] Do you like doujinshi? Is it fun making it?
It's fun~_~.

19] Ever submitted anything to a magazine?
No, but I'm thinking of making one.

20] Did it get published?
Nope.

21] Who are your favorite artists?
Kouga Yun, Takeuchi Naoko, and Miyazaki Hayao.

22] What's your favourite Anime/Manga?
Of all time? Probably Sailor Moon anime and Earthian manga.

23] Favourite Character?
Too many. Probably my own.

24] Any artists that you'd like to draw like?
No, I like to have my own style, but I draw inspiration from Kouga Yun's very impressionistic style. I'm especially fond of her inking.
25] Do you buy books a lot?
Yes, and I want more!

26] Did you ever buy a book to inspire you to draw?
No, but books have inspired me to draw.

27] Any video games you enjoy?
Sims 2, Harvest Moon, Animal Crossing... I'm picky, but I like simulation games. I also like Fatal Frame and Pokemon^.^.

28] Any favourite characters from video games?
Rydia from Final Fantasy IV.

29] Do you have a favourite writer?
Suzuki Koji.

30] Any books you really enjoy?
Japanese horror books.

31] Do you write fanfics?
You will never be allowed to read the fanfiction I am writing! I read a lot of them, though~_~. Mostly involving Snape...

32] Any music that you often listen to while drawing?
Dance music.

33] Any recommended songs?
Poison by Groove Coverage, that Benny Benassi song, and From Paris to Berlin by Infernal.

34] Any websites that you totally admire?
www.illness-illusion.com and of course Pixiesticks.org...

35] Do you have any sites you want to go everyday?
DeviantArt, Gmail, HMForums.net
36] What is your dream site like?
It's pink. And sparkly.

37] Do you like your own art?
Some of it!

38] What do you enjoy watching on TV?
Nick at Nite and Lifetime.

39] Favourite celebrity?
Um... I don't want to say.

40] Favourite color?
Red and pink.

41] Favourite food?
Lots!

42] Favourite drink?
Schweppes Ginger Ale.

43] Any places you like to shop at?
Korean stationary stores.

44] Can you cook?
Yes.

45] Any programs you use often for email? Any electronic pets?
Yes, Mint is computerized.

46] Are you a computer expert?
No. I just added a new staff member to Ming Ink to make us a webpage...

47] Want to become a professional artist?
Of course.

48] Any other jobs you're interested in, besides an illustrator?
Making textiles...

49] Any other specialities besides drawing?
Knitting, crocheting, writing...

50] Do you like to watch movies?
Yes^.^.
51] What's your favourite movie?
Pom Poko! The Care Bears Movie 2, as well.

52] Have you ever entered art contests?
Not yet... School art contests were unappealing to me.

53] When did you start drawing seriously?
When I could hold a writing utensil.

54] Anything that you often use as a reference when you draw?
A lot of things.

55] Have you met any of your fans online?
Yay! Fans! I know people who like my art onlineO.O.

56] You have a lot of pen pals?
Just a few.

57] You have a lot of friends that draw?
Yes!

58] What time do you usually go online?
23:30-8:00. Anywhere between those times.

59] Do you like to go to chat rooms?
Not really.

60] Do you have your own computer?
I used to, but it exploded.

61] What would you say to the person you admire?
I admire? I'd ask him if I could touch his nose, I guess. I don't have a specific person in mind, but whoever it is must have a big sexy nose.

62] Do you think of things when you draw?
Yes. Mostly funny things.

63] Have you drawn bad because you think too much?
No. I've drawn bad because I was trying too hard, though.

64] Do you have any friends who are professionals?
Ee? professionals as in prostitutes?

65] Where do you often hang out?
My house, my grandmother's house.

66] Do you have any artists that you don't like too much?
Takahashi Rumiko, I guess.

67] Situations in which you really don't like being online?
On my old computer that exploded.

68] Situations in which you hate when it comes to having websites?
...Eighty-three.

69] Something that makes you really glad that the internet exists?
Slash, yaoi, the people.

70] What about things that make you NOT glad that the internet exists?
...SnapeXHermoine.

71]What's the first picture you've ever shown to the public online?
Gods, I don't know.

72] Do you still have that?
Probably.

73] Has your drawing style changed a lot?
Yes! My gods, I was a baby when I started!

74] How does it usually change?
I get... better?

75] Have you experienced artists block before?
Yes, I used to a lot... It's better now that I practice everyday.

76] How did you escape from it?
Ee... Waited.

77] What happens when you have artists block?
I feel like I've eaten cotton.

78] Any artists that have influenced you a lot?
Yeah... The ones I look up to, mostly.

79] What made you start drawing?
I was born with a story inside of me burning to escape.

80] What made you want to get a website?
Publicity!

81] Where did your site name come from?
My business name.

82] What do you think about net manners?
Not as important as grammar.

83] Have you ever been spammed?
Sure.

84] Ever thought about quitting your webpage?
It hasn't started yet.

85] If so, why?
Because I haven't started yet.

86] About how much KB is each picture?
KB?

87] When creating your site, do you use a program or pure html?
Um... that's what employees are for.

88] Do you have good eyesite?
Yes.

89] If you can get any person's autograph, who's would you get?
Miyazaki or Takeuchi.

90] What would you say to that artist when he/she autographs for you?
Thankyou^.^.

91] Do you have fans of your art?
Sure, why not.

92] Do you like to draw on oekaki bbs?
Nope.

93] Are you good at art in school?
Not in highschool. My teachers were from hell.

94] Did you take art lessons other than from school?
No.

95] Have you drawn a manga?
Yes, and you may not see them.

96] What's your favourite phrase/quote?
"Yamette! Oshiri ga ITAI!"

97] Do you think your personality is different externally and internally?
Depends on who I'm with!

98] What's your goal now?
Go downstairs and get my cell phone.

99] What do you have to say to yourself?
Barbecue.

100] Lastly, what do you have to say to everyone?
Radish.

Stupid quiz...

2006-01-25T10:51:25Z

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
bobbing like a tadpole on a string. A few such tumbles were...
My, my...

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can.

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Roseanne.

4. Without looking, guess what time it is:
5:42 AM.

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?

5:45 AM.

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
...Roseanne.

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
Ee... Last night? I think I was letting Mint out... But I didn't go all the way out.

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
Slash... Wanton, depraved Snarry slash.

9. What are you wearing?
A speed Racer shirt with that chimp's face on it, hideous green sweatpants, and ducky boxers.

10. Did you dream last night?
Yes. It was about some sort of mission as my dreams typically areO.O.

11. When did you last laugh?
Ee... I'm sure it was over some ridiculous slash...

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
A portrait I drew of Pirrip and I in the snow, a Babu corkboard, Red Fuji by Hokusai, and a picture of me wrapped in a doile...

13. Seen anything weird lately?
...Snarry slash doesn't cout as weird?

14. What do you think of this quiz?
Decent.

15. What is the last film you saw?
Exorcism of Emily Rose.

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
That pink kimono I want, lots of art supplies, and a pink Toyota Prius.

17. Tell me something about you that I don't know:
I have a big nose fetish.

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
There would be more pink stuff.

19. Do you like to dance?
Yes...

20. George Bush:
Ee... Which one? The first vomited on that Japanese guy.

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Lyla.
22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Francis.

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Yes...

24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
I'd imagine it can't speak, it being an all encompasing entity...

kiritsukeru @ 2006-01-14T18:06:00

2006-01-14T23:11:44Z

Another 'of the day' sketch that made it all the way to being coloured. This one was especially fun for me^.^. Anyway, for those who don't know what I'm talking about with 'of the day' sketches, every day, I try to draw one boy and one girl of the day. So... Anyone ever have a suggestion about a boy or a girl they want me to draw, they should say so. Oh, and I do one couple every week from now on as well.

kiritsukeru @ 2006-01-10T14:24:00

2006-01-10T19:23:31Z

I haven't updated in a while, but look at the prettiness!

kiritsukeru @ 2005-11-30T22:11:00

2005-12-01T03:12:01Z

It's a Cardigan in a Cardigan!

kiritsukeru @ 2005-11-26T03:46:00

2005-11-26T08:47:19Z

Kingdom Hearts commission.

2005-11-22T02:20:34Z

Oo, we both worked on this one.